The strange and crazy came on the way home, I cut down Allen, hit Rockland and road to Mansfield Center where I then jumped on 140 and then to 95 to 495 for the long stretch home…

So I am cruising along and going through the Milford area between exits 18 and 19. I noticed 2 cars that looked like they had spun off the road, one was facing me on the side and another had spun off and was way on the grass, so I figured I would pull over to make sure they were ok, but my brain says to pull over after then instead of before them, so I went to go wide left and then will pull over to the right.

So as I come up on them, I realized why they were over there. There was, for a lack of a better phrase, a complete shit ton of garbage all over the highway. I hit the brakes, swerved left and right and got through the obstacle course of shit all over the road and then pulled over to the right side and put on my flashers. The jetta handled beautifully though, no skidding, and the steering was nice and tight.

I open up my car door and get out to check on the other 2 cars, as I am walking back towards them, I see more cars coming up on the debris, along with a couple large trucks, lots of swerving, tire screeching and it looking like a tractor trailer was going to jackknife and roll over, I realized this was not a good thing to be going on. I grabbed my phone and called the state police to report  it, then went back to my car and grabbed the two maglights I always carry with me in the car, cuz you know, be prepared right? Seeing a truck swerving, skidding and looking like it’s going to roll over is pretty damn scary experience.

So I stayed in the breakdown lane and just was waving the flashlights in an up & down and back & forth motion at all the cars coming towards us in hopes that they would understand that to mean stop or slow down, and fortunately, they did, they all started to slow down and there was less screeching breaks and swerving to get around the stuff, although one person chose to mostly ignore me and almost rear-ended someone who slowed down to go through it all. That’s on them, pay attention to brake lights dumbass. Meanwhile I get down to the 2 cars who were on the side of the road and both of the guys from the cars were ok.

So there was some spots where there were no cars coming, so when those breaks happened, I went out to grab some of the large stuff off the roadway… the massive tarps, the dual tank air compressor, the 2×8’s, the mangled fiberglass and aluminum ladders.

I got a few of these things cleared off a statie finally showed up and parked in the middle lane to block things, and then got out and started clearing the big stuff off with me and one of the guys who was there when I pulled over. Then another statie showed up and completely blocked the whole rest of the road, so no cars were going by. I then asked the one who was cleaning off the road if we should just clear everything out of the left lane so some traffic could pass and no one would end up with a flat tire, he thought it was a good idea so we policed the lane and cleared everything out of it, the debris went for about 200-250 feet or so.

So we got the lane cleared and they opened it up to traffic in one lane.

So the stuff that was all over the road was pretty impressive. It certainly was apparent that it was from a truck that probably belonged to a contractor or carpenter of some kind. There were a couple metal ladders that were all kinds of mangled, and a fiberglass ladder that was mostly shredded but still holding together. An air compressor,  screw drivers, hammers, chisels, tool belts and bags, giant tarps, shovels, tin snips, wire cutters, pliers, staplers, drills, batteries, 10 foot 2×8’s, ladder jacks, staples, nails, screws, circular saw blades, extension cords, plywood, levels, tubes of tar and silicon, shingles and at least a half dozen home depot buckets that probably held all the stuff. The inner hoarder in me wanted to spend some time and look for anything that wasn’t totally fucked up by being dumped out onto the highway at 65mph and just keep it. I did keep a triangle square and a hammer that I picked up though, just cuz those are good to have and I can’t find any of my hammers since I moved, I think they are all over in the storage unit, plus really, who doesn’t need an extra hammer?

So got the lane clear, I was headed back to my car and was walking with one of the staties who then said something close to “This is bullshit, I don’t mind Tuesday night road duty because shit like this doesn’t happen on a Tuesday night, what a shit show.”

Checked out my car and everything appeared to be fine, so I got ready to head out. I was luckier than some of the others who ended up with flat tires, or the one guy who had the head of a shovel wedged under his car with some mystery liquid leaking out. It wasn’t oil, it wasn’t anti-freeze, it wasn’t washer fluid, and it wasn’t transmission or brake fluid… I was a bit puzzled, but not my issue…

So I drive off and about a mile or so up the road, there’s a car off to the side, so I pulled over to see if they needed anything, it was two girls just hanging out and smoking while they were waiting for AAA to come change their flat tire for them… I have an opinion on this, and I am sure you can figure out it, but I’ll just let you go with it.

I then saw a pickup truck over on the side about 3/4 of a mile up from them, so I pulled over the same to make sure they were ok… that’s when I found it… pretty sure it was the truck that lost all it’s shit out on the highway a couple miles back. Holy shit, this truck was fucked up! There are a couple pictures below that I took with my phone, so the quality is kinda crappy, but it will show you the damage to the truck. The tailgate was hanging off, front right tire was completely shredded up, but still there and there was damage to the front on both sides, the hood, the windshield and roof, but there didn’t appear to be any damage to the racks and rack supports on the back of the truck. I don’t think that the truck actually rolled over, and if it did roll over, how did it end up 3 miles down the road? Aliens maybe?

Click on the image to enlarge it.

This happens every time Facebook sends out any kind of privacy update, and it kind of annoys me every time I see it. It’s not just facebook, but Twitter, Flickr, or almost any other site where users are the ones generating the content on the site. No, it’s not the update to the privacy policy of Facebook that annoys me, it’s the reaction of the users and the buying into myths that someone decides to create in terms of letting people know how they can “protect” their own intellectual property, usually through referencing some sort of law, legal decision or some other kind of legalese.

This is the current text of the one I have seen posted by more than one person, and it always really bothers me when I see someone I have always believed to be intelligent, sensible human beings, and yet they buy into the fallacious postings as if they are absolute and true. The superscript numbers apply to my comments afterwards.

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention^1,2).
For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!³

Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. This will place them under protection of copyright laws by the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook’s direction or control.⁴ The content of this profile is private and confidential information.⁵ The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103⁶ and the Rome Statute⁷).

Facebook is now an open capital entity.⁸ All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates.⁹

Now to deconstruct and explain why this is meaningless for you…

1- There is no such thing as the Berner Convention. There is something known as the Berne Convention, which is what this is likely referencing, but failing to do so because of a bad typist, and then no one actually understanding what they are copying and pasting, but just blindly doing so because they are sheep and think they are protecting something that either needs no protection or can’t be protected.

2- According to the Berne Convention, which the US didn’t actually agree to become a member country until 1989, you own any original creative work and automatically own the copyright unless you sign away that copyright to someone else, or you created that creative work under contract for someone else. Even if it contains a trademarked item, image, or phrase, you still automatically own the copyright to what you created, you just can’t use it for anything since someone else owns the trademark.

3- Facebook already has your written consent to use your updates and their content, you agreed to the Terms of Use/Service when you signed up for an account.

4- Facebook isn’t going to take any action against you unless you violate the the TOU/S that you agreed to when you signed up. What kind of action do you think they will actually do? Delete a post? Delete your account? While this may surprise some people, this is completely within their rights to do those things.

5- Nothing you post anywhere online is private and confidential, the very act of posting it online makes it public. Yes, you can control who can view your profile on Facebook with security settings, but that only applies to other users, not to Facebook or any of it’s partners. They can and will use anything you post in whatever way they want, you posting is what generates content, which generates information for them to use in order to market ads and products to you based on your interests and your friends interests.

6- This section I find incredibly funny. I am not 100% sure what they are referencing with the UCC, it could be either Universal Copyright Code or because the numbers don’t align with anything in the Universal Copyright Code it more likely is a reference to the Uniform Commercial Code, but even then, it doesn’t make any sense.

Sections it would be referencing in the Uniform Commercial Code.

§ 1-103. Construction of [Uniform Commercial Code] to Promote its Purposes and Policies: Applicability of Supplemental Principles of Law.

(a) [The Uniform Commercial Code] must be liberally construed and applied to promote its underlying purposes and policies, which are: (1) to simplify, clarify, and modernize the law governing commercial transactions; (2) to permit the continued expansion of commercial practices through custom, usage, and agreement of the parties; and (3) to make uniform the law among the various jurisdictions.

(b) Unless displaced by the particular provisions of [the Uniform Commercial Code], the principles of law and equity, including the law merchant and the law relative to capacity to contract, principal and agent, estoppel, fraud, misrepresentation, duress, coercion, mistake, bankruptcy, and other validating or invalidating cause supplement its provisions.

§ 1-308. Performance or Acceptance Under Reservation of Rights.

(a) A party that with explicit reservation of rights performs or promises performance or assents to performance in a manner demanded or offered by the other party does not thereby prejudice the rights reserved. Such words as “without prejudice,” “under protest,” or the like are sufficient.

(b) Subsection (a) does not apply to an accord and satisfaction.

Neither of these means anything within the context of a posting on Facebook.

7- The Rome Statute – Sounds serious and intimidating and official right? Well, unless you think Facebook is committing a core international crime such as genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and the crime of aggression, then you don’t have any claims under the Rome Statute. If you think that Facebook is committing any of these crimes by using your content, then you should go talk to a therapist first, you have some major issues to work through.

8- So Facebook is an open capital entity now, so they are a public company. This has no bearing on anything to do with any type of privacy or copyright.

9- The crème de la crème of this entire posting. This is an outright and blatant lie. You are in no way tacitly giving Facebook any kind of permission by not reposting this or any similar statement; You have already explicitly given Facebook the right to ” use elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates”. When you may ask? When you signed up and joined the site you gave them that permission.

This section from the terms that can’t be over-ridden by anything you post on your timeline – “you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook”.

To translate this for you in everyday language, “by posting anything on Facebook you give us the right to use it, give it to someone else to use, or sell it to someone else to use, anywhere in the world and we don’t have to pay you anything to do that.”

Anything you post on Facebook can be used by Facebook however they want. You have granted them the full right to use or license to someone else for them to use simply by using the site and giving them the pictures or status update content.

Everyone always thinks that Facebook is great because it’s free, but while it may not cost you any money, it is not even anywhere close to being “free” in any sense of the word. Facebook has you pay for it’s service and it’s features because you are paying for it with your information instead of cash money, Facebook then uses that information to make money, either through generating ad income because it can intelligently parse your posts and determine your interests, or by selling your information to other people to parse for their own purposes. The more information you give them through posts, responses, games played, applications used, people, products, companies, and posts “liked” then the more you are paying them for the use of their service.

Yes, you own the content, every social media site is always going to tell you that you own your content because you do, and they can’t usurp your right to own your content and intellectual property. The part they hide in all the long user agreements is the legal aspect that while you own the content/IP that you are posting, the fact you are posting it means you are licensing it to them for their own use and their own purposes.

If you or anyone you know really is concerned about your own privacy and don’t want your things used, then you should really just stop using Facebook, or any other social media site. Anything you post online should always be assumed to be in the public domain and visible to anyone and everyone, if you don’t want someone or anyone to know about it then don’t post it online, ANYWHERE. If you want to privately share something with someone else, then you should either call them on the phone, email them, or do the completely unthinkable thing in this day and age – TALK TO THEM FACE TO FACE.

It’s mid to late June and we are heading out for a good old fashioned fly by the seat of our pants road trip, we are taking this trip in Anthony Bourdain style; no reservations!

We are heading down and will be spending a good deal of the trip in North Carolina, but we need to get that far first, we are spending time in the tiny little state of Delaware for a night, and then down through the Delmarva Peninsula and over a really expensive bridge, and into Virginia before getting to North Carolina, staying with friends in Raleigh for a night and then heading back up north through the Blue Ridge mountains, into Pennsylvania and then back home.

So today was day one of our trip, this is basically a beat feet day to get through all the boring places I drive through all the time, or places we have no interest in really seeing anything special in, it’s a quick trip out the Mass Pike, down 84, down 91, down the Wilbur Cross and Merritt parkways, over the Tappen Zee Bridge, past the massive Palisades Mall, to the Garden State Parkway, head south to the Jersey Turnpike, and then over the Delaware Memorial Bridge into the great state of Delaware. Maybe I will start an LLC while I am here, seems like that’s what everyone does in Delaware.

The trip down was good overall, no major traffic delays except coming up to the Tappen Zee Bridge, it mentioned roadwork so there were going to be some delays, I had no problem with that, although it took about 45 minutes to go about 5 miles which normally takes less than 5 minutes. I only got really annoyed when it was determined that there was no road work and the delay was just because all the stupid people seem to have a whole lot of trouble merging because of a lane drop from 4 to 3. Even with less than 500 feet of lane left, people were still jumping into the lane that was ending to try to shoot up ahead of other people.

One interesting thing we saw during this portion of the trip was a white Mitsubishi Lancer, which had a unique graphic on the rear window of the heavily tinted windows. What was this graphic you ask? Why it was a graphic which depicted “the shocker”, you either know it or you don’t, if you don’t then be glad. Go right ahead and call me a grumpy old man and I can tell you to get off my lawn, but what kind of tool actually puts something like that on the rear window of their car? Not only that, but he also had a custom overlay on his rear idiot light break light on his trunk that reads “suck it” in red when he hits the brakes. CLASSY!

So some things we noticed on the trip so far…

Douches on Motorcycles, apparently lots of people seem to think it’s smart to travel at 90+MPH on a sport bike weaving in and out of traffic, wearing sneakers, nylon shorts, and sleeveless t shirts, but hey, at least they had on a helmet so their brains won’t get splattered while they rip a dozen or so layers of skin off the rest of their body when they dump the bike.

They are expanding a lot of the southern part of the Jersey Turnpike, this appears to involve a lot of bridge building, the only problem I see is that a majority of the bridges they appear to be building have nothing to connect to them, no roads anywhere close to them that need to go over the highway. Governor Christie taking a page from Sarah Palin with bridges to nowhere?

Delaware is a state with apparently a whole lot of gun shops, tobacco shops, title loan shops, and pawn shops. Seems a bit depressed, but then you have the strip joints to make up for it, but it appears as though they can only take off their tops in those, so just a bit more depressing in there.

One interesting thing about the Delaware Memorial Bridge compared to other bridges I have seen, and driven over on this trip, there wasn’t even a minor attempt at putting up a fence or any type of blockade to prevent people from jumping, not even a Samaritans hotline number.

Delaware apparently has some problems with minors drinking, I have seem at least 6 different billboards all with the same ad on them; it’s an ad to remind people who buy alcohol that it’s illegal to give it to someone underage. Kinda makes you wonder what’s going on if they need to have a billboard ad campaign to remind people they can’t do that.

We have seen a bit of wildlife along the way, we tried to take some smaller roadways at times to make the scenery a little nicer for this reason. Unfortunately the majority of wildlife we saw was “sleeping” on the side of the road. Off the top of my head there were 4 possum, 2 raccoons, 1 cat, 2 deer, and a few things which even dental records won’t be able to identify. Although it was not all bad, we did see a lot of large birds like hawks, a few deer with a baby just south of Dover AFB, and something which was seen so quickly it could not actually be identified; Possibly a possum, rabbit, or badger.

So we got down to the Dover area, and we needed to find a place to stay, we found a couple listings online in the price range we wanted, unfortunately all the mom and pops were just way too too sketch, so we tried a couple more mainstream and the first few had no rooms, then the Sleep hotel might have rooms, but we had to wait til 6 to see if any actually would be available. Apparently they were on hold til 6, but if people didn’t check in by then they lose their room. So we checked out another hotel while killing 15 minutes to see if any would be free, the Holiday Inn Express only had smoking rooms, so that would have been no good at all. Back to the Sleep. We waited, we checked, we got a room! YAY, day one and we weren’t sleeping in the car, we haven’t failed yet!

So we got our room, went up and chilled for a bit, then checked out online where to head for dinner, we ended up picking a place called McGlynns here in Dover on Lake Silver. It was great! A tad loud but there was no wait for a table and we got a booth even, so not bad. It was a bit dark with all the old stained hardwood everywhere, but nice overall and a nice view on the water and the menu looked great. I had the sliced flank steak with garlic mashed potatoes, some steamed vegetables, and corn bread. It was great and the the flavors were nice, the cornbread was crumbly but wasn’t super dry, the mashed potatoes has a slightly odd texture but were delicious all around. Kate got the shrimp and grits, which also came with andouille sausage and garlic bread. This was awesome too, spicy sausage and the grits were cooked really really well. The garlic bread was huge but tasty.

Totally a dinner win after a total lunch lose.

Now to figure out our travel route for tomorrow and see what other interesting stuff awaits us in Delaware and into Maryland…

Minor stuff, dumb stuff, whatever stuff.

More soon from my recent trips for work, and more coming up for both work trips as well as a nice road trip vacation down through North Carolina, Delware, Maryland Virginia and Pennsylvania! but not all in that order.

Another fun thing, i bought a new domain name and plan on building a tech blog related to my work and the Epicor product, both as a resource and as a way to market myself as a brand. Hope it turns out well, my plan is to unveil it sometime in mid-september…

While I am clumsy or careless sometimes and do injure myself quite often because of that, I always at least know how or why I get the injury I do, and I am more than happy to relay whatever that funny story might be.

Well, there was no funny story, I just woke up and my foot was sore. So I took some Advil and went about my day at work, sitting in my office, getting up 2 or 3 times to get lunch, a beverage, play with the cats, or empty the liquid cargo hold.

Then the next day, wow, it hurt, I could barely walk so much it hurt, so I tried to stay off it as much as possible and I did. Then eventually my girlfriend insisted that I spend the day on the couch and not move at all, keeping my foot elevated. I did this like a good little soldier, even though it’s against anything and everything in my nature to do. I can’t stand sitting around when there are things I could and should be doing.

So it still hurt but not as much, so i went to the dr to get it checked out. He couldn’t find anything structurally wrong after examining me and some x-rays.

He decided to give me a set of inserts to wear in my sneakers and they totally fixed my issues.

Now i just need to wear my sneakers more often instead of being barefoot or wearing other stuff for a majority of time, annoying but doable.

See? Perfect crime…

but in reality that’s a statement from an episode of the Office and it’s a quote from good ol’ Dwight.

So I haven’t used this blog in awhile and a whole lot of things and life have been going on, but I am gonna get back into this and start using this place for what it can be used for, all kinds of opinions, events and stories about what is going on in my life and it’s changes.

Now really, what better way is there to get traffic to your website other than putting a video of a cute cat chasing things around?

So neat!!!

Logan airport hasn’t changed much, although the construction that was going on in Central Parking for over 2 years appears to be finally completed so the whole garage is now accessible for parking, and surprisingly, the cost to park a car has only increased by $2 a day in the past 2 years.

The ads are new and there is a Jerry Remy’s Sports Bar and Grill in Terminal C, but the kiosks and everything are still the same, and the same escalator is still not working to get down from the skyway to the concourse to check in. I still think it’s a conspiracy by the repair companies to keep them busy, same as with the T, fix them just enough to work for a bit and then break again.

Same carpets, same white rocking chairs, same vinyl rows of seats. It feels good to be back. Only trouble is that I have lost my frequent flyer status, so no free upgrade and I needed to wait in the standard security line, unlike in the past where I was able to take the super special speedy line.

I did notice one change though, what used to be the candy and nut stand halfway down the ramp to the gates is now some kind of health food stand with dried fruits and fruit juices. Yay?

I think the shoeshine guy was the same guy, although he was falling asleep and kept doing the head bob. You know the one, head resting on a hand and then you fall asleep so it slips off and then you wake up because of the jerking motion of your head falling, then you look around suspiciously to see if anyone noticed and then go back to snoozing, then repeat over and over again.

I have missed this, and while there is not much currently scheduled, I certainly hope that there is a lot more of this to come. The job looks very promising and I think this is going to end up leading to a whole lot of good things in terms of travel, professional life and personal life.

The funniest part of this entire thing, is that they are trying to convince you that the email is coming from the FBI as part of a current investigation.

I totally believe it, I mean, why wouldn’t a person who works at a bank or at the FBI be using a hotmail.com email address when notifying and dealing with transactions well in excess of half a million bucks?

I honestly wonder exactly how gullible some people must be to actually fall for these scams. I put the email into a picture so that I don’t end up with a ton of stupid search engine results from the content of the email.

One thing that is really annoying though, no way to export a MySpace blog…

This is the eleventh and final preview and it’s going to trip you out, man. Eleven is a great number. My craps shooting amigos will know that 11 is probably the best number at the table. It’s a winner on the come out but doesn’t sweep the line after the point is made. Everybody hollers out “Yo’leven”. That alone is enough to make 11 my favorite number, but there’s more.

I was born at 11:11 p.m. and all my life I’ve found myself compelled to look at the clock at exactly 11:11. Now I figured there’s a logic explanation for this. 11:11 is pretty memorable, especially on digital clocks, and probably I look at the clock all the time but consciously take note when it’s 11:11. Makes sense. You ever heard of this cat Uri Geller? He’s a fake psychic. Here’s a note from his website:

I started experiencing this rather bizarre occurrence when I was forty years old, at first I thought they were coincidences, I would stand with my back to a digital clock and something made me turn around and I would notice that the time would be 11:11. These incidents intensified I would be checked into hotel rooms on floor 11 room 1111. I started noticing these digits on computers, microwave ovens, cars, documents, etc. I decided to write about it on my website. I was immediately inundated by hundreds of emails from all around the world. Individuals were telling me their own 11:11 stories, almost always saying ‘I thought it only happened to me.’ It is difficult for me to decipher what this is all about but my intuition tells me its positive.

Weird, huh? Same experience. Turns out 11 is what numerologists call a master number. This is a powerful number for numerologists. It’s closely associated from psychics. I’ve always been a little bit psychic. In fact, from the time I was about 5 years old I had dreams about airplanes crashing. One morning I woke up very early, before the alarm went off, mechanically went to the tv as if compelled, turned it on and watched a plane swoop into the WTC. It was like watching a replay of the dream I’d had all my life. September 11. 9-11. Or 9+1+1=11. Trippy man. Real trippy.

So given this is my 11th preview, I figure this one is going to be highly prescient. I remember previewing this team early on and being unimpressed but the second impression has been more favorable. Hanley Ramirez is a do everything bona fide fantasy star. Morneau and Holliday have an all star track record. Holliday of course basks in the reflected glory of Fat Albert. Chase Headley and Howie Kendrick are both value picks that will contribute with Headley running a lot early on and Kendrick doing what everybody has always expected he would when healthy. Cameron Maybin is a perpetual waiting to break out guy and you add in Podsednik this is a team that will steal a lot of bases, score a lot of runs and pound the ball. There are 7 guys hitting over .300 so far this year and one hitting over .400 (Podsednik). Expect the averages to deflate a bit, but this team will be solid on the offensive side.

I really like the deal to pick up Tim Lincecum. He’s the kind of guy that, given two starts in a week, can pretty much dominate four categories. Randy Wells is an underrated compliment to Lincecum. There are too many pitchers here that don’t do enough to really help, though. Don’t expect Mike Pelfry to maintain his hot start. Jared Weaver seems to be legitimate, but I tend to wonder. Floyd, Aceves and Sean Marshall are taking up roster space. Carl Pavano remains Carl Pavano. That leave just Leo Nunez down there in the pen doing anything worthwhile and that will likely need to be addressed.

Prediction? You know I’d like to say 11th. Planned on it, in fact. But this team is a bit better than that. I think they’ll be in striking distance but just miss the playoffs.

That’s a wrap, Jacks. Have a great year everybody.

By harsh necessity, Atlas supports the broad sky
on his head and unwearying arms,
at the earth’s limits, near the clear voiced Hesperides,
for his is the doom decreed for him
by Zeus the counselor.

The poet Hesiod wrote these lines about the Titan, Atlas, about two thousand years ago. Atlas fought with the Titans against the Olympians and when the Titans went down on a Zeus walk off home run, Zeus condemned him to hold up the heavens for all eternity. It’s unclear just what Albert Pujols did to deserve a similar fate, but he’ll be asked to hold up what chances the Vapes, one of FBB’s more successful franchise, will have this season. Now if that’s not a torturous segue, I don’t know what is, but hey this is my tenth one of these so cut me some slack.

It’s tough to tell what’s going on with the Vaportrails this year. It started with the drafting of Joe Nathan, an uncharacteristic gaff. Aaron Hill, the only second baseman on the roster, has been a ghostly inhabitant at the keystone with no replacement as he languishes on the DL. Bedard and Lidge currently occupy the DL spots but there’s no guarantee either will be contributors this year. Chone Figgins is off to a slow start. Ellsbury is nicked up. The bullpen features two shaky closers in Ryan Franklin and David Aardsma while Jose Mijares gives the Trails yet another player on the DL.

There are some nice pieces here. Vlad Guerrero was a shrewd pick and will probably contribute well above his 17th round draft slot. The roster is really outfield heavy with Victorino, Hawpe, Ludwick and Byrd all fighting for playing time. Danny Haren should provide solid numbers, at least through July, and Chris Carpenter is a true ace. Yovanni Gallardo has the stuff to be a third ace in this hand but he’s off to a slow start so far.
Buehrle and Lackey bring similar skill sets but the innings eater type sometimes can be more of a difference maker on the real diamond than in this game.

And yet, in spite of all the Vapes came roaring out of the gate and blew out the Dish in week one. Which brings us around to Pujols once again, who, like our friend Atlas, hoisted the team on his shoulders hitting more than half the home runs for the week, driving in a third of the team’s runs and scoring a quarter of them. As long as he’s around and healthy, the Vapes will be dangerous in any given week.

I just don’t think a one man team gets it done in this year’s league though and I’m not seeing enough in the complimentary players to be able to recommend Cloudie’s boys this year.

Prediction: Just miss the playoffs

We are “The Thunder”.

We were a ragged group of misfits thrown together last year as an expansion team in a league that didn’t have much room to expand, therefore we ended up with a pretty rough group of guys who lacked some skills on top of lacking some management leadership. We had a grand total of 1 team practice prior to the start of the season, and we played no warm up games for “spring training”.

We finished off last season with an abysmal record of 17-3 after losing our first 12 games to start off the season, by an average score of 15-3; Three of which were shutouts by 15 or more runs. Needless to say, we had some problems.

For the most part our problem was actually our pitching, we lacked any pitchers that could be considered a solid #1 or #2 option on the mound, and we suffered greatly because of this; Walks being the main culprit. This led to lots of runs and lots of time in the field compared to hitting, which wears everyone down and our offense suffered because of it.

A little over halfway through the year, a couple games after we actually got uniforms(although we never got hats) we had a change in the leadership of the team, along with the acquisition of some decent starting pitching. One definite ace for the team, and also one semi nutty guy who thought he was way better than he really was, but it was an improvement at least.

Our change in leadership was a combination of Alex taking over as the manager of the team, and myself picking up some of the slack with the little things like equipment and water for the games.

We managed to eek out 3 wins in our final 8 games, 2-0, 4-1, and 13-11. Somewhat of an improvement to say the least.

Now we come to winter, Alex was officially the new leader of the team as of the end of last season and he spent a great deal of time over the winter getting some new players for our team. We managed to find a new catcher, along with 5 new players who are all above average pitchers. This is combined with what has been referred to as “shedding deadwood”, which mostly consisted of players who were either terrible, never wanted to show up, showed up still drunk from the night before, or were just douchebags to their fellow teammates.

We also spent a great deal of time as a team over at the batting/fielding cages in Medford. Then we have also played a total of 5 spring training games to make sure we can work out some of the kinks.

I am disappointed that it appears as though I won’t be a starting player for the team, probably because I have been having some troubles hitting even though my fielding has been superb. It’s ok though because things do shift around during games and not everyone will make it to every game we play.

We have gone 3-1-1 in our spring training games; Yes, there are ties during spring training. This shows a remarkable level of improvement for us as a team and it lends to the thought that we aren’t just going to be a better team, we are going to be a team who is contending to win it all this year.

So look here for some updates on how our season is going, I am sure I will have plenty to talk about and either be seeking sympathy for poor play or boasting about how awesome our turn around has been.

GO THUNDER!!!

6 of 12, 9 of 12, 11 of 12. That’s how the Lancers have finished since joining FBB three seasons ago. During that time, managers have been fired and GMs were canned. Pitching coaches were pitched and hitting instructors axed. Even the groundskeepers were mowed down. Nobody has been immune. So what do you do when you run out of places to cast blame. Well there’s always the fans of course.

In a bizarre off season tirade, that’s just what owner and used jet ski magnate Nacho Troell did. Citing repeated instances of fan interference, doing the wave during home at bats and order of magnitude attendance discrepancies depending upon whether or not it was beach towel, snuggie or plush toy give away night, the Lancers’ top man made it clear that enough was enough. And so was born the Superfan program. Want to buy a ticket to a Lancers game this year? Be prepared to be committed. There are classes to attend. There are tests to pass. Unsure about the infield fly rule? Maybe this isn’t the team for you. Unwilling to keep score during the game? Too bad. Everybody keeps score and there are an army of ushers out there to enforce the rule.

Now you might think this might discourage the casual fan, but something very unusual took place. The Superfan program took off. And you’ll never believe with whom. The cast of popular reality television show The Real Live Ladies of the OC. Since the Lancers caught the attention of these So. Cal trendsetters, the lines for tickets has been one great sea of silicone implants and peroxide blondes. If there opening week of play is any indication, this team may have to change it’s name to the cougars. Perhaps Silvia Plath was right when she opined that “every woman adores as fascist.”

So what will the product on the field look like for the ladies. Well it’s a good thing chicks dig the long ball, because this team can hit, hit and hit some more. The Lancers did the right thing picking both the falling Miggy Cabrera and Prince Fielder despite the double dip at first base. The combination Rollins and Pedroia make for as solid a double play combo as you’ll find in the league and Aramis Ramirez solidifies a position that’s thin leaguewide. Pierre and Bourne provide the speed and Torii Hunter is consistently underrated. A comeback year for Josh Hamilton could make this team scary good offensively.

Pitching is another story, where Huston Street, Cliff Lee and bullpen workhorse Michael Wurtz start the year on the DL. Shields, Billingsley, Baker and Saunders may do more harm than good, providing innings but threatening the loss column, ERA and WHIP week in and week out without guaranteeing the flipside categories. The pen is a shambles with just shaky Kevin Gregg and veteran Darren Oliver out there. When it comes to pitching, man can this team hit. It wouldn’t be at all surprising to see some of the bench players like Rivera, Hairston and Swisher, all fine options for another team, depart via waivers or trade to shore up the staff.

Things are looking up for the Lancers. Playoffs are not out of the realm of possibility, maybe even likely. Superfans get ready.

Prediction: Playoffs one and done.

Working under the theory that if some is good, more is better, maverick owner D. “Stink” Levinski has turned the whole stadium into a beach. That’s right, no seats. Just sand. Sand in the bleachers. Sand in the plaza level. Sand in the loge. Sand in the owners box and sand in the cheap seats. But this isn’t your ordinary sand. Night games it’s heated. Day games it’s cooled. And there’s beer. Everywhere. And girls with beer. I believe I mentioned them. Except now they’re everywhere.

So I know some of the more sensitive, less girl with beer oriented among you are probably saying, “hey that’s gross. There’s beer spilled in there every night. What about the peanut shells?” Ok, probably none of you are saying that. But somebody might say that. And if they did, here’s what they would find out. This is no ordinary sand. Using a revolutionary technique developed by Levinski himself the sand is fully sterilized after each game. The sand is purged of liquid which is then highly filtered to such a degree of purity that it’s then given free of charge back to the city. The solid waste removed from the sand is pulverized and turned into a nutrient rich compost which is given to needy Mexican organic farmers. Free of charge. Pretty cool. And yet, maybe not as cool (certainly nowhere near as hilarious) as the Sand Yanks new mascot…a sombrero topped chimp named Senior Gauchos. I hear that the chicks dig Senior Gauchos.

What’s great about this franchise is that the product on the field keeps pace with the action off the field. Yankees 3 and 5 hitters Tex and Cano anchor the line up. Cano in particular looks poised for a monster season well above his draft position. Youk contributes everywhere but the basepaths. A big year from Jay Bruce would really solidify the lineup, especially if Manny Ramirez continues his decline. Carlos Lee remains under appreciated. Pena and Helton will also see playing time. Contract year Carl Crawford should be among the league’s best. Carlos Beltran may arrive in time to contribute to the second half though he’ll occupy a DL spot well into the first half.

Johann Santana and Ricky Nolasco are by no means stone cold locks but few pitchers have a higher ceiling. Oswalt will fight some back problems and probably won’t recapture past numbers but he will deliver quality starts as will Slowey. I’m a seller on Harang. Hughes could produce some intreguing results, though it will be interesting to see how Girardi handles his pitch count. The bullpen includes Carlos Marmol, Jon Rauch, Frank Francisco and Joba. If these guy hold jobs all season they should be adequate, but overall the staff is pretty midtier.

The offense looks solid enough to carry this team back to the upper tier again this year and I expect a playoff run. And in the playoffs, life can be a beach…with girls. And beer. Did I mention the beer?

Prediction: Into the semis and then who knows.

Woohoo! Threepete! Yeah, bitches! Threepete! Woohoo! Welcome to my 2010 Panda MoLesters blog!!!! This blog is going to be a kick ass place where you can come all season and get you’re PML updates, keeping you up to date on a sure fire take it to you local S&L lock on yet another championship for the D&B dominators. Check often because Im gong to update this shit like two…three times a day. Except I do kind of have to work a bunch the next couple of weeks. And I have dinner at my Moms on Sunday, so I don’t know about that. Maybe not twice a day, but I am super fired up for this…

Ok, ok, it’s a cheap shot I admit, but as everybody knows the only thing worse than a guy who talks smack is a guy who talks smack and backs it up. Running championships constitute backing it up, and if the two-in-a-row guy says he’s going to win a third, who am I to argue? If memory serves, though, neither year featured a regular season title, and winning the FBB playoffs is a little like getting lucky on the river and handing the other guy a bad beat (first of two poker terms references to be featured).

You might have heard me talk in the past about one of my favorite topics: the difference between strategy and tactics. If you missed it, here’s a review. The best way to think about strategy and tactics is in chess terms. Strategy is high level thinking along the lines of, “I want to get my rooks on open files, I want to attack this defense queenside, I’m concerned about my pawn structure.” Tactics on the other hand go something like this: “If I go there then he goes there then I go there then he goes there” as far out as you brain can handle the permutations. One of the greatest of all chess masters (my dad named our dog after this guy when I was a kid), Emanuel Lasker once said that chess is basically 99% tactics but strategy gets all the ink. I bring this up because Mike has been the tactical genius of our little club here.

Tactics get a bad name in FBB because those not in the know will spin it as the guy who spends too much time on it, or the guy who cares too much. False. The tactical advantage flows from the ability to read opponents, to make adjustments, to exploit opponent weaknesses and to defend against opponent strengths. Mike has shown the ability to do all these things and that’s not about being a geek, it’s about being smart.

Take the beginning of this year for an example. The Providence Sox publicly admit to being on tilt (poker term 2) and Mike spots it, generates a trade proposal that dangles a big name local guy for the Sox (Victor Martinez) and basically acquires multi-category juggernaut Werth plus breakout candidate Matt Wieters as a replacement for Martinez. And if that wasn’t enough he also unloaded Kevin Gregg, who lost his closer’s job before the Jays broke camp, and added a very decent pitcher for a slightly better team in Chad Qualls. Nice work indeed.

The MoLesters are going to be active on the waiver wire all year. How active you ask? Hello Chris Davis, 7:54 EDT opening day. Goodbye Chris Davis exactly 4 hours and 3 minutes later. If anybody is going to beat this team, they’re going to have to pay attention. So let’s see if we can find any vulnerabilities on what appears on the surface to be another deep and talented team.

Sandoval, Wright, Kemp, Lind and Werth are all fantasy powerhouses and they will do the bulk of the work offensively. There is some BA risk here, with Ian Stewart, Elvis Andrus and Jason Werth all potentially dragging the number down. Andrus also made 22 errors last year and though he should improve, Stewart, Sandoval and Wright will kick a few as well. One of the strengths will be the availability of several multi-category box score stuffers, including Werth who hit 36 HRs and stole 20 bags, Kemp 26/34, Wright 10/27 (and sure to improve the HR numbers) and Alex Rios 17/24 and a new park in Chicago for a full season. This team will need those multi-dimensional players as the bench is not deep, with just one bench player on the offensive side. That will be something to watch as the rosters evolve, especially if there are any injuries late in the year when the waivers look like slim pickings.

The pitching staff here is intriguing. I love both Jon Lester and super soph Brett Anderson. I think both will be top 10 Cy Young finishers with Lester an early favorite to win it. Hamels, also picked up in a pre-season trade, has the motivation, the new mentor and the new cutter to put together the season most think he’s capable of. The Duke is my pick for comeback pitcher of the year and, when right, he’s a WHIP monster and a two time all-star. I’m not in love with the pen after Broxton. Gregerson is probably behind Bell and Adams for a team that may only win 70 games. Qualls is unhearlded by far from a lock. Rhodes has the history, but Nick Masset is probably the better pitcher in the Reds pen and Feliz is showing early signs of a major second season jinx. If the Pandas have an Achilles heel, it would have to be here.

This team will be there to the end; they will be a playoff team and a danger throughout. They would be my pick to win the regular season title this year. Luck has a way of evening out, however. I’m not a superstitious man, but somehow calling your shots seems to have a way of boomeranging back on you. As a wise man once said, pride goeth before a fall.

Prediction: The run stops at back to back.

“If only you knew the power of the Dark Side…”

You can hear Lord Vader in your head, can’t you? And the dark side sound pretty good, doesn’t it? Why is that? What’s the allure?

What happens when you’re on the side of right? You go around rescuing people and sticking your neck out for others and for what? Even if you get the girl in the end, it’s probably some princess that wants to get married. Meanwhile, the Vaders of the world are out there fucking drunken prom queens. On the dark side, you don’t have to play by any rules; all you have to do is win. “Vader is in this for one person…and that’s Vader” (*points two thumbs at self*). The appeal lies not just in the power, but also in the freedom to exercise it in the pursuit of personal pleasure, unfettered by the constraints of morality.

If the current version of the Yankees built a three headed Mt. Rushmore, it would feature the carved faces of Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Mariano Rivera. There’s another place you’ll find this trio: on the 2010 Wood Beats Johnson squad. Having been competetive year in and year out with a team featuring a cadre of Sox, but with only an ‘09 second place finish to show for it and with the Yankees reigning champs in the alternative universe…well, hello dark side.

Built around the face enemy, Ned has assembled a team that will once again find itself in the mix. Six players hit 30 or more home runs last year. Eight players drove in more than 90 runs. The defense will be excellent. Uggla, Abreu, Ibanez and Cuddyer are all under the radar veterans and Adrian Gonzalez is as much under the radar as a bona fide superstar can be. The offense will not dominate, but they will provide a challenge for opponents week in and week out.

Verlander and Jurgens lead a staff of reliable hurlers. De La Rosa quietly led all NL southpaws in wins last year. Jeff Niemann is a comer. Wolfe and Arroyo eat innings and both should provide reliable contributions. Heath Bell and Rivera are elite closers, with Brian Wilson firmly in the second tier. Holds machine Matt Guerrier will form a part of the Twins closer by committee, so holds may need to be addressed via the waver wire.

So has Ned really gone to the dark side, giving up everything in the pursuit of winning? Let’s ask Dr. Jung, who loved his shadow, though some modern scholars say it’s a silly notion.

“When we must deal with problems,” Jung wrote, “we instinctively resist trying the way that leads through obscurity and darkness. We wish to hear only of unequivocal results, and completely forget that these results can only be brought about when we have ventured into and emerged again from the darkness. But to penetrate the darkness we must summon all the powers of enlightenment that consciousness can offer.”

Just as we noted in a previous season’s preview for Commissioner Ned’s team that homerism rationally applied is really a kind of pragmatism, perhaps this journey through the darkness is, as Jung suggests, a reflection of a higher understanding of the self. God speed, Commish. May it be more sweet than bitter.

Prediction: In it to the end

Fukudome arrived at league headquarters wearing a silk kimono, flanked by a stunning, jaw dropping really, pair of Japanese twins who attended to his every need throughout the day. When asked if he needed introductions to his soon to be fellow owners he replied, “Beneath the cherry blossoms, there are no strangers.” Asked to describe his basic understanding of the game, he answered, “baseball is but a tale of a clockwork sparrow.” Clearly, here was one ready to take his place at the table.

Draft day did not disappoint, as the newly minted Hitomi Tanakas drafted the great Ichiro and later added countrymen Akinori Iwamura and Kosuke Fukudome himself. When questioned by a reporter about the subsequent release of the latter two, Sensei Fukudome quipped, “Externally keep yourself away from all relationships, and internally have no paintings in your heart.” The zen mind is nothing if not pragmatic.

The roster, for the most part, reflects the eastern obsession with striving for balance. Veterans like Ichiro, Posada and Jeremy Affeldt stand on the one side of the age continuum, promising youngsters like Nyjer Morgan, Clayton Kershaw and the electric Aroldis Chapman to the other. Flashy talents like Dexter Fowler, Kyle Blanks and Alexei Ramirez share the clubhouse with a heavy contingency of underrated workmen Jason Kubel, Casey Blake and Asdrubal Cabrera. If these players fill the background with archetypal faces, like the feudal townsfolk in a Kurosawa movie, then top pick Tim Lincecum occupies center screen like the shogun warrior. He will need to be every bit the hero in this film to justify the early selection.

On offense, Kendry Morales, Kubel and post-hype sleeper Hunter Pence should provide enough pop to keep the competition honest. Six of the nine probable starters hit .300 or better last year, including Ichiro’s gaudy .352 mark. There’s plenty of speed here too. It’s not an offense that leaps out at you; rather it reveals itself slowly. One would suspect Fukudome prefers it that way.

Lincecum, Kershaw and Adam Wainwright give this team a potent Big Three, and the complementary starters all come with some upside potential. The bullpen will be a lonely place to start the year, with just Jose Valvede and Affeldt pitching in relief. However the Tanaka’s appear active on the waiver wire, having made more than twice as many moves as any other team before the start of the season, and relief pitching can be had as the year goes on.

The activity on the waiver wire is a promising sign for the future. Championships can be lost in the draft but are seldom won there. I think this will be a playoff team.

Prediction: Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know

Matt “Ezra” Standish and his renegade Shadowmasters came into the league with a who gives a shit, mock ‘em and shock ‘em attitude. Amid rumors of skull violation and other subterranean, nefarious goings on, the Shadowmasters settled in as FBB’s most entertaining and least successful franchise. The team slogan, “In the cellar…and loving it!”, was emblazoned on slacker tee-shirts and tattooed on necks in prisons across the country. It was a hell of a ride.

When the makeover came, everybody sat up and couldn’t help but take notice. In a FBB equivalent of a shave, haircut and new suit, the Masters showed up all business and ready to compete. The change culminated last year with a season long place at the head of the table and a deep playoff run last year. Had it not been for an untimely collapse on semi-final Sunday, Standish would have found himself playing for the title.

But Standish is nothing if not mercurial, and where you might have expected that he build on last year’s success, this season finds yet another name change and yet another style. This year’s squad, dubbed Chicken on the Hill, a reference to Standish childhood hero Willie Stargell, seems like an exorcise in nostalgia in more ways than just the name. However, where in years gone by the overt homerism was just a fuck you in the face of convention, this year’s draft seems filled with genuine hope and goodwill for a beloved city left behind long ago.

Andrew McCutchen is the real deal and will only get better. Garrett Jones is a giant figure at first base. Ohlendorf has the makings of a future ace. Third baseman of the future Pedro Alvarez will start the season in the minors but will be back this year and I’d expect The Chicken Hillers to snap him up. Octavio Dotel, picked up this week, is an excellent sleeper at the closer position. McCutchen, Ohlendorf and Alvarez are probably all a year or two away from being real contributors, but that hardly seems the point. Oh, and if that’s not enough nostalgia for you, Jason Bay is back.

The team around this core of ‘Burgers presents a mixed bag. Standish emphasized starting pitching and landed two of the best in Greinke and Sabbathia. Most everybody thinks Matt Cain will inevitably become one of the league’s elite. The Hill also dealt Cole Hamels for high upside pitcher Rick Porcello and closer in waiting Matt Thornton in a move that bolsters the bullpen, though with Hamels under the tutledge of Doc Halliday this year, this one has some potential to backfire, particularly if Porcello regresses. Francisco’s squared will anchor the pen. Bionic pitcher Stephen Strasburg is a wild card, though he’ll have to be carried for some time in a DL slot and will face pitch counts when he comes up. The pitching should help keep these birds close week in and week out.

Offensively things look a little less settled. Mauer is usually an early round reach for me base on scarcity alone, but last year’s numbers, if duplicated, will justify the pick. Healthy seasons from Ricky Weeks and BJ Upton, who battled a bad shoulder all year, would go a long way, but even in the best case scenarios, there just doesn’t look like there will be enough offense here. Cantu, Inge, Peralta and Jones all feel like second options that will be counted on as starters here. Only Bay reached 30 homers last year and he moves to pitcher friendly Citi field. Batting average and OPS will be problem spots all year.

I generally favor those teams who put a premium on offense and look for value among starting pitchers, so it’s going to be tough for me to put the Chicken Hill Gang in the playoffs. There will be some dominating weeks on the mound though, and it’s a team that will be entertaining and maybe on the rise as the year moves on.

Prediction: Out of the cellar…probably somewhere on the front porch drinking lemonade…and enjoying it!